The other day a friend commented, “Kelly, I love your blog!” and thought, “I haven’t written a blog post in FOREVER – I need to get back on that.”
I could say that I’ve been busy, and that would be quite true. I started a new job (my dream job, actually) back in October and I’ve honestly been pretty busy getting up to speed on the requirements for my new position and proving myself to my new company. And of course, having two very active (that’s a nice way to say, “completely bonkers”) preschoolers keeps me pretty occupied.
But the truth is, I’ve just felt stuck. Uninspired. Like I had nothing to share. No stories were bursting to get out of me. I was just trying to get through the day.
I’m the kind of person that usually feels pretty energetic, optimistic and inspired. So feeling, just, “okay” has been weird for me. Nothing has been wrong, necessarily. But I’ve felt like I’m just going through the motions.
I still don’t really quite know what it “is” but I’m going to blame it on the weather. This has been a brutal winter. We moved to eastern Washington two years ago, from the blissful moderate climate of Portland, Oregon, and have been adapting to living in a much colder, much snowier climate. This winter almost broke me.
IT WON’T STOP SNOWING. The snow is pretty and all, but after about 4 months of it (literally, I just checked – our first snow was Nov. 12 and we just got another 6 inches yesterday so exactly 4 months), sledding and snowshoeing stop seeming fun and novel.
This has been my view for the past 120 days:
I like snow. It’s pretty.
But I’m done.
You know that guy who just completed a solo trek across Antarctica? I feel like that guy. Just moving through the whiteness, all day every day. Except it’s taken me 120 days instead of 54. And I have two kids in tow.
Maybe this year felt so much harder because we spent a solid month enduring perpetual sub-zero lows. It has been freaking cold. It’s hard to enjoy being outside when it’s that cold. Just keeping the chicken coop above freezing has been a challenge, and we have two heat lamps running 24/7 out there.
Also, our plow truck broke down about 5 times this year and that has been a challenge. But we are fortunate to have amazing neighbors who’ve pitched in and kept us from being snowed in. We are super lucky.
But at any rate, I think the end is finally in sight.
The weather forecast is calling for highs in the 50s (!!!!) later this weekend. Hallefreakinglujah! I can already hear giant chunks of snow and ice sliding off our snow roof and landing with a huge crash on the ground below. See ya, suckers!!!
I will say, the one thing that has kept me sane(ish) throughout these past few months (at the risk of sounding like a total hippie, which I sort of am) is yoga. I joined a studio that has hot yoga classes (and I do mean hot, it’s 105 degrees and 40% humidity in there – they’re not messing around). I’ve been going 3 times a week and it has kept me from completely losing my mind.
Practicing yoga – and the mindfulness that comes with it – has also really helped me keep my patience with the kids. Emory Scout has always been a bit of a challenge – my wild, opinionated, independent 3 year old – but Gavin, who turned 5 in December, has really been presenting with some challenging behaviors and we’ve started taking him to some occupational therapy sessions to address his mood swings and violent outbursts.
It’s been really hard because my son is the chill one – we used to call him “Little Old Man” when he was a baby, because that’s basically his personality. He’s mild-mannered, contemplative, introspective (as much as you can be at 5) and thoughtful. So his behaviors have really thrown us for a loop.
But I have confidence that we will work through it – with the help of the professional therapist that we’ve been fortunate to access – and I’m sure we will all grow as a result of the work we are doing together.
So, I guess the theme of this blog post is: life is hard sometimes. Some days are not easy. Some months are long.
But spring will always come, even if it’s late. And while you’re waiting, I highly recommend a combination of yoga, meditation, and copious amounts of red wine.
It’s done wonders for me.